Partners

PARTNERS asked me to answer this question, “Why be together?” For you, a stranger, to read, see, and think about. But how can I answer that question? And who is together, and how are they together? Is it positive and growing and allowing? Or is this togetherness a limitation of some kind, perhaps unintended, perhaps dressed in the best intentions? How long is this togetherness? A short while? A month? A lifetime? Wouldn’t any answer involve two answers, at least? One from each person, party, or group that makes up the togetherness? I guess the question is directed at me too, Mike. Why be together, Mike?

I think the most interesting answer to that extremely big question is that I’d like to keep that private. I’d like to keep the whole process around that; what I go through; the struggles I may have; the joys I may have; my history with togetherness; and any ideas I may have around that personal subject to myself. Why would you take a stranger’s word anyway, especially about something so intimate, so relational and contingent, something so fragile and strong and so specific to each person?

For all those reasons, I think it’s most interesting to publicly say that it’s a private matter. Not a secret, just private. And it’s a huge and complex matter that could never be summed up, and it’s kind of a mystery that can be pointed at but not really described or understood in a factual and complete way. Who can really, really explain the why and talk about how to be together, and really understand the inner workings of togetherness? But then I think maybe, just maybe and despite togetherness’ infinite complexity, there is a simple answer: because it’s much less lonely.